What challenge, pattern, or situation were you hoping to shift or resolve when you began this work?
My key challenges included being authentic, courageous, and joyful! For this, certain self-limiting beliefs that had developed during early childhood had to be resolved — particularly traits such as being manipulative, playing the victim card, being the nice guy, and lowering expectations to protect myself from future disappointments. In short, the pattern of “playing small” needed to give way to becoming the “man in the arena,” reflective of the famous quote by President Theodore Roosevelt, and as quoted often by the author Brené Brown in her work on vulnerability.
How was this issue impacting your emotional wellbeing, relationships, business, health, confidence, or daily life?
This issue played out in a myriad of ways, but most notably in creating attachment anxiety, developing traits of codependence, missed business and professional opportunities, unwillingness to make serious commitments, unresolved business that reflected in external clutter and poor time management as well as low levels of productivity — essentially playing small in order to protect myself from future disappointments.
What insights, breakthroughs, awareness, emotional shifts, or tangible results did you experience through the coaching process?
There were two huge insights that came to surface for me in session #6: one, “if I am fully honest, I may lose love or connection”; and two, “I am seen as a good person, but I am actually a bad person.”
I want you to know that there has been a significant shift in both these self-defeating beliefs, which had become a part of my identity. The shifts have been: one, “I am committed to honesty and transparency, because that is my true nature, and if it does not bode well with some, that’s a great discovery for me”; and two, “I may have done some bad things in my life, but I am an amazing, fun, joyful, and authentic person, and these experiences have taught me to be more compassionate towards others.”
Did you notice any subconscious patterns, limiting beliefs, nervous system responses, or identity shifts becoming clearer during the work?
Essentially, the big insight for me was that I am the creator of my own destiny — and that chasing happiness is like a cat trying to catch its tail: the more it tries, the harder it gets. I’ve spent a good part of my life trying to chase happiness because I believed that it came from being liked by other people, and that clearly is shifting.
What felt unique, impactful, or different about this coaching process compared to other personal development or healing work?
I’m trying not to get emotional in responding to this question, because my response goes straight to the heart of the issue — and that is to the Master Coach, Jurate Smith herself.
Let me explain. Her sheer dedication to my transformation, her candor, her holding me accountable, her compassion, her professionalism and highest level of competence, the truth that she brought to the table, and, most importantly, her unwavering commitment to my transformation was nothing short of that of a mother for her child. Do I need to say this more clearly? The bundle of traits that make up who she is was beyond my wildest imagination, and I have no words to thank her enough for the journey I have embarked upon.
But before you go, I want you to know something: while I say all the lovely things about her, please keep in mind that she is bloody tough — strongly coming from the belief that it is better to teach someone fishing than giving a fish.
What has changed in the way you think, feel, respond, or move through life as a result of this work?
Some of the self-defeating beliefs that I thought had become bone-deep are dissolving to give way to more inspirational and uplifting thought patterns. I feel like a new soul and a new mind in a more healthy and attractive body. I feel excited to dream big, and no longer play small — more akin to becoming the “man in the arena” rather than being the spectator in the crowd.
I am also convinced that I am the creator of my own destiny, and that while playing the victim card served me well to stay in survival mode, my “highest excitement” was always meant for much bigger things.
I also want to humbly acknowledge that a dozen sessions has not wiped off six decades of living with and zealously protecting those self-defeating beliefs, and that this work is going to be an ongoing process. I have happily signed up for another set of twelve sessions, and I’m going to focus on my relationship with money and health over the next 6 to 12 months while continuing to revisit the issue of relationships that may still need some more work.
Would you recommend this work to someone seeking deeper transformation, emotional healing, self-awareness, or conscious growth?
Hello! What kind of question is this?
Now, on a more serious note: 100% I would strongly and beyond a shadow of doubt recommend this program to anybody who is seeking the kind of transformation, emotional healing, or personal growth that I have been working on and immensely benefiting from.
